Special Request: Regression - Digression

This posting is an absolute regression on my part - a digression on the part of the one who made the request of me today on my drive home from work as it has absolutely nothing to do with the intention of this blog but possibly everything to do with how I arrived at this place in my life. Laying the groundwork for the relationship I have with my husband was something this person felt needed to be done so you get a good picture of the man I married...or as she put it...the man who married me. You see, I married the most wonderful, caring, loving, generous best friend a person could ever hope for in one lifetime. He's been the greatest partner and most wonderful father anyone could imagine. How'd I find him you may ask??? Cliff notes...blind date I wasn't aware I was on, a few too many adult beverages during a time in my life when I considered myself to be a bit too much of a free spirit and BAM...away we went...marriage, home ownership, babies and all the fun that goes along with building a life with the person you love. You see, for anyone who has known me at any stage in this life and not yet had the privilege of meeting this wonderful man I can tell you he is NOT what anyone would have pictured me with. I say this with confidence since it's been told to me before by long time friends who know me good and bad. He is extremely conservative and reserved, somewhat shy and awkward in social situations, not much of a talker, a maniacal planner..so much so that he even scheduled the shopping date for my engagement ring with written notice in his day planner ..he also made a note on the day he was picking the ring up and dared to leave said planner out in broad sight...well, sort of in broad sight...ok, so it was closed and YES I was being nosey. Our list of differences is so long that soon after marriage I realized we are the epitome of polar opposites...and that is what makes this so much fun.

Now that I've given a glimpse of him I'll share this story...the one that for some reason is still stuck in the mind of one longtime faithful friend so much so that she told me to put it in writing because by the time my children were old enough to appreciate the story I'd be too damned old to remember it. I've told it many times over the years so forgive me for those of you who have heard it so many times it bores you to tears...I'll tell you who you can blame at a later date since she too, will become a character in this blog of life. With that said here goes...

During our first year of wedded bliss we became home owners and there begins the journey to the never ending list of hobbies and projects. We'd lived in our house through spring, summer and fall and then winter was upon us. I'd spent the better part of those first months of home ownership making that house our home. Painting, Decorating, Furniture and all of the other elements I hoped would make my house magazine ready. During our engagement and through these first few months of marriage I set my sights on starting my master bedroom decorating foundation with a cranberry colored quilt. I searched high and low for just the right color quilt only to be fortunate enough to score one during a random trip to Tuesday Morning. Quilt and pillow shams to match. I carried my treasure home, laundered it and immediately dressed the bed. It was BEAUTIFUL and just the perfect shade of red to set off the rest of the room. Curtains were custom made, paint shade picked out to compliment and a full bedroom suit to round out the finished product. All built around that perfect quilt I was so fortunate to stumble upon.

That year Old Man Winter brought with him several bouts of snow and ice which resulted in several rounds of lost power at our house. Most of the time it was just a few hours but on one bitter cold evening we arrived home from a full day of work only to find the power had been out all day. This immediately set hubby on a downward spiral towards 'Angry Man Land'. Rather than stew about it at the house we decided to go out for diner and hoped the power would be back on by the time we returned. As fate would have it we returned to a completely cold and dark house...not only that but with a quick cell phone call to the local power company we learned the power would not be back on for at least 72 hours. I think hubby was so discombobulated by that point he had to just walk away. He headed upstairs for the bathroom (one too many chicken wings) telling me not to get carried away with the lighting of the candles around the house. I decided to stay in the bedroom and focus on our comfort for the night. In our bedroom alone I think we were in the neighborhood of 12 different styles of candle, 3 of which were on my bedside table and those are the 3 I lit first. After those were lit it occurred to me that I too needed to visit the potty...rather than take the long way around the bed to the bathroom I decided to dive over the bed for a more direct route. As I dove my foot must have caught the corner of that beautiful cranberry quilt that had so elegantly graced the surface of our king sized bed without me noticing.  I went about my business only to return moments later to see my side of the bed engulfed in flames. Remember, hubby at this time was off to angry angry land in the upstairs bathroom and I knew this would just send him over the edge. All I could think to do was 'Stop-Drop-Roll'...and there the madness began. I dove on the flames not realizing I, myself, was wearing an extremely flammable fleece pull over which instantaneously caught fire as well. Flailing about like a fish I had absolutely no regard for my own safety but was much more concerned with the stroke hubby was going to have if he actually saw this madness taking place. As the flames were extinguished (yes...that stop, drop and roll deal really does work) I stood up only to see a plume of smoke overhead. At this point I had been the fastest and quietest woman on fire you could imagine. I had already pulled the coverlet off the surface of the bed and crammed it under the bed, stripped myself of that burned fleece cramming it under the bed as well and covered the burned holes in the carpet from the hot embers that got loose so there would be no evidence of what had just taken place...and now...that plume of smoke was moving faster than I and headed straight towards the smoke detectors that had, up until this point, not made a peep. The only thing close to me I could use in hopes of dispersing that smoke was a pillow. I sped over to the smoke detectors, pillow in hand waiving it around like a crazy person but it was too late.  I quickly learned that once one smoke detector was set off in our house it caused a chain reaction and every single detector in the house, including the one directly outside of the bathroom door upstairs, where hubby had been hunkered down for quite some time now. Over the screeching of the alarms I heard a thunder rolling down the stairs and could only envision my sweet hubby having a heart attack and falling down the stairs to his doom...he didn't fall, he actually ran fearing the worst only to find me still flailing about like an idiot trying to get the smoke away from the detector so the noise would just stop. I hadn't even had time to come up with a good cover up yet and he starts in on me... 'WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN HERE'...I was genuinely scared for the man as he is a bit melodramatic when it comes to minor 'incidents' around the house...he very quickly took stock of the room and put the pieces together himself (one minor detail I forgot in my haste to hide the evidence...I left all those damned candles burning not thinking once to blow even one of them out). The next statement from his mouth was (sans most of the expletives) 'YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF THE DOG'...I, in all of my own drama, was already on the verge of tears and the mere thought of that poor creature probably huddled in a corner or under a bed somewhere literally scared to death was more than I could handle. My response was 'Don't say that, it's just mean and I didn't mean to do it'...to which he replied...'NO, YOU LITERALLY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF THE DOG...HE SHIT RIGHT ON THE FLOOR BESIDE ME THE MINUTE THE ALARMS STARTED GOING OFF AND I"M NOT CLEANING IT UP!!'. To this day that dog still isn't right and cowers at any noise above a whisper...and hubby; well let’s just say I'd be willing to bet he's got the fire chief on speed dial.

So, the two of us...polar opposites. He: A diligent planner who gets bent out of shape when things don't go according to plan. He: A list maker who actually checks things off of his list when they are completed. He: the one having to cut holes in the walls to make more storage so we can house all of the supplies I've collected each time I get on a whim. Me: plan, what plan? Me: I have a list around here somewhere it just never seems to make it with me when the time comes to take action. Me: hmmm, today sounds like a good day to paint and make some new curtains but wait, I just saw a picture of a dress I think I can make myself... ohhh, wait...look what I just got on sale and saved a ton of money (I learned that works well when trying to sell an accountant on why I keep spending money)...no matter my son wears a size 5 and the jacket is a size 10...he'll grow into it right???

I'm not real sure what the story above has to do with where I am today but I'm allowing those around me to educate me on myself in hopes I get to the root of why I never seem to be able to stay focused long enough to see things through. I think the request for me to tell the above story was meant to show me how I have a tendency to lose focus on those things that are kind of important...like making sure I don't burn the house down and give my husband a stroke in the process. Until next time....