The Ex-Procrastinator: Chronicles of A Serial Hobbyist

After a long…VERY LONG…work week I started the next stages of the behemoth project on Friday night with what I hoped would be a quick trip to Lowe’s. After 3 children I should have learned there is no such thing as a ‘quick trip’ anywhere…while I’m at this spot in the story I think the following must be said:

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO THE PEOPLE OF MOCKSVILLE, NC WHO WITNESSED THE PERFORMANCE OF MY LOVELY 2 YEAR OLD AT LOWE’S HOME IMPROVEMENTS ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

What is it in the mind of a 2 year old that causes tantrums of magnificent proportion at the most inopportune times while in a public place for absolutely no reason at all???

Friday night, armed with a slab of the behemoth and an idea in my mind, I visited the paint counter where a not so talkative and extremely busy looking (although I was the only one at the counter) Lowe’s employee looked upon me with annoyed eyes and greeted me with a very hesitant ‘May I help you?’ Maybe it had something to do with the fact I had ‘The Interrogator’ draped over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes or the fact that my own husband had the other two crazies corralled into a shopping buggy and he, himself, was trying to get away from me. I was on a mission and nothing, not even a screeching flailing 2 year old, was going to stop me! I showed him my slab in the hopes that he would inform me no stripping, no sanding and no prepping would be necessary and I could just stain away ‘til the cows come home. I did learn the behemoth is made of solid oak (explains why it was heavy enough to cause a hernia) and that is only has 1 thin coat of stain at present with no sealer or polyurethane on top. With a bit of surface cleaning and maybe a light sanding with the Mouse Sander I’d be in business. I selected a water based Minwax stain in a color called ‘Green Tee’. It was a very subtle earthy green I thought would be a great neutral in the dining room. Mix her up and ready to go…but wait…here we go again with yet another meltdown by ‘The Interrogator’. This time I broke out the camera to video her in action. This little angel from birthday picture not 24 hours earlier...remember the one with the tutu and hair bows...she had now evolved into the devil right before my (and everyone else in the store) eyes!  My husband tells me this is called 'exploiting my children'.  I call it future evidence and blackmail for those dreaded teenage years. Just as soon as I can figure out how to edit the size of that video and get it off of my Blackberry you shall bear witness to the incident for yourself.

Left Side: Untouched
Right Side: Green Tea colored
Minwax waterbased stain over
lightly sanded surface



Saturday came…hubby off to work weekend tax hours and I’m home with the little monsters watching them destroy my house in slow motion. During these hours on Saturdays I find it to be wasted energy to even try something productive around the house so I use this time to think about my master plan for the dining room while making sure ‘Swiper’ doesn’t swipe and ingest something toxic and ‘Destructo’ doesn’t create the next great disaster of epic proportion in any room of our house. I end up spending most of my day dodging the never ending inquiries from ‘The Interrogator’ who feels the need to know the meaning behind each and every breath, blink, sign and movement I have through out the day. That evening I broke out the ‘green tea’ colored stain. In the can it is eerily reminiscent of a pair of  fluorescent green socks and matching scrunchie I once had in the 80's. I employed 2 slabs of the behemoth; one lightly sanded and the other wiped clean to see which would have the best reaction to the new stain. With a few brush strokes of the new green stain I quickly knew I didn’t LOVE this color. It rivals the color of green grass in the spring after a nice soaking rain. Pretty in a picture but not on a piece of furniture.  Definitely not the subtle neutral green color I was going for. There goes the first $10 spent  wasted on this project and my master plan to make quick work of the beast….ahhh…but I DO have a plan B. One I had hoped to not need. Although I LOVE painting I hate the prep work that goes into doing it the right way. I’ve spent a great amount of time searching on the Internet for the finish I was going for and found exactly what I was looking for. By the looks of it Plan B is going to take much longer than a weekend to complete.



Inspiration for the finished product



This morning I had great intentions of priming the entire beast and continuing to hunt down details of the green beauty within (need to find out just what color paints were used so I make mine an exact replica) but alas Old Man Winter just cannot let it go. It's a balmy 36 degrees now and according to the directions of use on my Kilz Primer can I should only use the product when the air temperature is between 50-90 degrees...FOILED AGAIN! Not making excuses this time...actually trying to follow directions ...proof is below. I guess that works because now I'm forced to actually do the real prep work I loathe. Here I come Mouse Sander and Vinegar (remember...a great surface cleaner). I shall prepare the beast for what will soon be several rounds of intense paint sessions.

Working on the beast during the week likely won’t happen until after tax season so I'm left to my weekends only. That's ok...as I dig more into the details of the forthcoming paint project I can focus on a few other details that require no initial physical/manual labor. Flooring and Lighting next on the list....  My goal for this entire dining room redo project is completion by April 16. Lofty right? Time is a ticking...I’ll keep you updated with each step forward. Until next time…